better late than never...

I had great intentions when I started this blog to keep a record of my pregnancy to maybe help someone or myself who was going through the same issues. But when things started to go a little south, I didn't really want to talk about it, write about it, or really anything about it. Not denial, just introspection.
Well, my son is now 6 months old, and everything is just fine. There were no genetic abnormalities, no developmental defects; he's perfect (and seriously cute). But I would like to continue to catalog motherhood as a diabetic mom as well. There are a few unique challenges to it, as well as the same challenges all moms face.
But first, a quick recap:
I had a great pregnancy on paper, but in reality it was wrought with worries and exhaustion. I drove two hours twice (sometimes 3 times) a week into doctor's appointments for the last few months (before that once a week, before that every other week), which mostly went fine but his size was always a bit questionable, which evidently can be a sign of all sorts of problems...or he could just be small. The last few weeks my blood pressure was way too high and I gained 14 pounds of water in 2 weeks (yes, I was pretty), so I was confined to the couch, but fortunately not the hospital. Again, on paper, this doesn't sound so bad, and it certainly could have been worse, but it was wearing. Four days before I was due to be induced, we went in for our last BPP (biophysical profile) and not only was my blood pressure even higher, but the baby was not moving much and was not doing the practice breathing. We went to labor and delivery to be hooked to a fetal monitor, and his heart rate was non-reactive (normally a baby's heart rate fluctuates a bit, reacting to its environment). We had a choice to either induce then with an emergency c-section a strong possibility, or go ahead with a c-section. We chose the c-section on our doctor's recommendation (this made even more attractive to me as I had just found out that, due to an old back fracture from a horse, I could not have an epidural--yikes!). All the doctors and nurses at Georgetown were incredible, and James was born very healthy, but small. 5 lbs, 14oz. Everything was great. I healed fast, James was nursing great, milk came in quickly, we were tired and happy.
So that's pretty much catching up through birth. I'll have to catch up on the rest later. Needless to say, we were thrilled at the outcome, and so relieved. A lot has happened since then, and continues to happen, so I'm going to keep playing catch up while keeping up with the current!

Blood Sugars

Throughout my pregnancy so far, I've tried to read everything I could online. Specifically, I wanted to read what real people wrote about. I found a site where moms told their tales of pregnancy and labor while having diabetes, of any type. All I saw were women who wrote that they only had 10 blood sugar readings over 200 for their entire pregnancy. Well, I'm sorry, but what a load of crap. I panicked at first. I had over 10 in my first trimester, but my A1Cs were still in the 5's, so all was great. All highs had a reason, whether it be a miscalculation, a pump or site error, or just your body keying you in that it's time to make an insulin change (which happens CONSTANTLY). I have a very tough set of doctors, and I was so afraid to go see them with my blood sugars, thinking I was doing something wrong. But all was well. So don't panick by what other people say. They're probably lying, didn't take their blood sugars often enough, or are freaks of nature that really did eat nothing but lettuce their entire pregnancy--especially if they had Type 1. But as long as you're seeing your doctor often (I go to my endocrinologist every two weeks through my pregnancy, until the end when I'll go every week), taking your blood sugars and logging them, you're going to be fine!

Well, I had the stupid Quad Screening done, even though I was fairly against most genetic testing for many reasons, not the least of which is all the cases of false positives. Of course, mine came back abnormal with low estriol, increasing the baby's chance of having Downs Syndrome. So I go in on Friday for a detailed ultrasound to see what's going on. My gut feeling is that everything is fine, but heck, I don't know. My doctor again mentioned the false positives and everything. I just hope they can see enough to tell me for sure. If I can know something for sure, then I'd rather just know. If we're still talking chances and percentages, I'd rather just not know.

Funny how your perceptions change when you're pregnant. For instance, I used to think I was sort of fat. Not really fat, but, you know, kinda. OH! If only I could go back! I looked great. My stomach was flat, I had no love handles, my legs were pretty toned. Now, 10 unnecessary pounds later, not so much. I hope this means that after I have the baby, if I get back to my pre-pregnancy weight, I'll feel a little better about myself, remembering my stomach beginning to block the view of the rest of me!

Genetic testing

Well, I loved my new OB. She seemed very nice and spent a good amount of time with us, answering our numerous questions. We got another ultrasound, we're at 11 weeks, just 4 weeks since our last ultrasound, and what a change! You could see the shadows of the eyes, nose, and mouth, plus the little monster was swinging its arms around, wiping its face, and I'm pretty sure it mooned us. Must be a girl.
Then we got the whole talk on all the tests we could have done, should have done, genetic counseling, etc. Yikes! Too much information, seriously. I mean, I'm already pregnant, so I suppose sometime in early July we'll find everything out. Plus, you can test for everything, but no test is completely accurate, with many false positives. I'm not sure, but I don't think I want to know. Isn't ignorance bliss?

High risk

On Monday I will go see my high risk OB for the first time. It's funny being "high risk." I don't feel high risk. I feel like a pretty normal person, albeit pregnant. And I'm having a pretty good pregnancy so far, better than most people I know. I don't look high risk. So if I tell someone, they look at me a little funny. But I am looking forward to meeting her (happy she's a she). She called me personally to set up an appointment and took me even though she isn't taking any new patients. Makes me feel special. Maybe I'll even get a new picture. I better get something, it'll take me two hours to get into the city to see her!

Hardly perfect...

So yesterday I woke up, had my usual breakfast, went to work. Blood sugars were great. Then it came to lunch, and I ended up just snacking. Why? Because nothing that I had brought for lunch appealed to me anymore. Then I went to the grocery store. Usually, a huge mistake when you're hungry, even without an appetite. But I had a detailed list that I did not stray from. By then I was even hungrier, so I snacked on the way home, with the appropriate insulin (or so I thought). Then I started making dinner and homemade granola bars (from Diabetic Living magazine--I highly recommend). Evidently, I did more snacking because my dinner blood sugar was too high. How dumb am I? I obviously knew that would happen, somewhere deep inside. Of course, I fixed it right away and my blood sugars have been great since. I'm wondering how often that happens to other diabetic moms-to-be. I had these expectations of being perfect, with so much at stake, but that doesn't seem to be the case. I still have my weak moments and I still make mistakes. Hopefully I can just learn to limit them greatly!