There's all sorts of gross and weird stuff that happens when you're pregnant, give birth, and really from then on out. Everybody talks about pooping on the delivery table and worries about it. I didn't worry, I just figured it was gonna happen (BUT...yay c-section!...sort of). In fact, I have now heard HILARIOUS poop stories from many moms (and poop stories ARE my favorite). My favorites involve one who thought she was delivering her baby, but wasn't, and one who scared a nurse to death when her monitor was showing 'contractions'. lol I love how everyone now feels comfortable sharing these stories now, as long as it's not at the dinner table (well okay, at the table is fine, as long as dinner is done--I don't want to choke while laughing).
Less gross, but still something every prospective mom should hear about is hair loss. I had heard over and over that I would shed like a banshee once James was born or after I was done nursing, but it's just hair you didn't shed while pregnant--no big deal. Then I heard from my wonderful hair dresser that her hair fell out so much, she had to make herself 'baby bangs' as it grew in along her hair line. Surely this wouldn't happen to me.....crap. I started to notice a little fringe, and now I look like I shaved a very small line around my face for some reason, and now it's growing back. I even had sideburns for a while! Lord, do I not feel unattractive enough? Why is this necessary? At least I have a hairdresser who knows just how to fix me when the time comes, but until then, even my ponytails ain't lookin' so hot, and THAT is a major bummer.
Back to grossness, I usually think of myself as a fairly clean person. I hate a dirty house and play constant catchup with my 3 dogs. I have no carpet anywhere in the house because I hate how dirty it gets. I sweep and swiffer daily. Despite all that, my house is actually pretty dirty all the time. However, there isn't usually poop anywhere but the diaper genie. But James was in his walker playing in the afternoon while I washed 3 bottles. In that time, I turned around to a kid covered in poo. Sitting in the walker evidently squeezed poo out the side of his diaper, which he then thought would be great fun to play in. So I lift him out, clean him up, and decided to have some naked play time on a towel before his bath. He's started to be mobile (at least backwards), so in no time at all, he was off the towel sort of slithering on his tummy. When I picked him up, he was all wet from peeing on the floor. lol Not as bad as dog pee, but my dogs haven't peed inside in a while (Dimple is finally potty trained--turns out spaying did the trick!). So we clean up again, and while he's in his bathtub, I roll his walker out of the way. And what to my wondering eyes should appear?? doodie!! Yes, there was poop on my floor that had been there for about an hour. EEWW! I promptly took a picture with my phone and sent it to Tom. He replied "who's?". Mind you, only James and I were home at this point...hm.